Just Read It

Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah has spent decades talking about sex most notably on her blog Adventures From the Bedrooms of African Women, which she co-founded with Malaka Grant. The Sex Lives of African Women brings together the extraordinary stories of African women around the world as they share their personal experiences of sex.

One of several fascinating things about this book is how it spans a diverse range of African women from Egypt to South Africa and across the diaspora. The women are also diverse in terms of their sexuality and sexual relationships. From finding queer community in Egypt to living a polyamorous life in Senegal to understanding the intersectionality of religion and pleasure in Cameroon, each individual story is as illuminating as it is powerful.

However, as much as I enjoyed the book it was not by any means a breeze to get through. There was several stories involving abuse in all its forms, usually at the hands of men, which at times was quite triggering, if not depressing. I had to put the book down several times to process my thoughts and feelings. But what’s clear through all of these stories, is the womens’ determination to own and define their sexuality and sexual experience in the way that was most true, liberational and healing for them.

This narrative thread made, for me, The Sex Lives of African Women, one of the most powerful books I’ve read in a long time. As well as insightful, it was also educational and provided a valuable perspective of sex in all its forms. I am in awe of all the women who contributed to this book for their honesty and openess to share the most intimate and sometimes most painful experiences of their lives. And I thank them and Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah for sharing.

This is a necessary book which has opened up so many conversations. Recently the author was interviewed on The Cipher podcast talking to host Christabel Nsiah-Buadi about how and why she began her own journey towards sexual freedom. Listen here 👇